The Skeptic's NFL Training Camp Guide: NFC East

This is the installment of The Skeptic's Guide that many of you have been waiting for: it's time to laugh at the Cowboys, psychoanalyze the Eagles and roll our eyes at the offseason hype surrounding the Giants! Oh, and there's a Commanders segment, too.

Dallas Cowboys

They’re still America’s Team. But have you seen America lately? 

Leadership Structure

Jerry Jones became a sundowning autocrat long before it was trendy. 

Brian Schottenheimer is the coaching equivalent of the mannequin small towns will sit behind the wheel of a police cruiser parked beside the county highway to make locals think it’s a speed trap. Like the mannequin, Schottenheimer doesn't really do anything, but he looks official and important, works cheap and doesn't talk back.

Coordinators Klayton Adams and Christian Parker seem to be pretty good coaches who will go on to fine careers elsewhere. 

Quarterback

“Cowboys quarterback” should be an appointed governmental position, like “Senate Minority Leader.” No matter what Dak Prescott accomplishes, it won’t be enough to overcome the buffoonery around him, and he may be starting to lose the support of his base.

Offense

CeeDee Lamb is great. George Pickens is great when he feels like it, which is sometimes. The offensive line, which features more guys named Tyler than a Sigma Phi Epsilon pledge class, is pretty good. Adams is a clever playcaller. The Cowboys will score a lot of points, though probably not enough.

Defense

The Cowboys used a daisy chain of trades to parlay Micah Parsons into a battalion of newcomers on defense. It’s like that old war-gaming question: would you rather have one Abrams tank or 500 Sumerian war carts? Before you answer, remember that Jerrah hates spending money but really loves horseys.

Special Teams

Returner KaVontae Turpin is dangerous. Brandon Aubrey endured a mini-slump last year, so the Cowboys made him the highest paid kicker in history.

Camp Stuff

There will be battles for starting jobs and playing time all across the defense. The DaRon Bland/Cobie Durant battle at cornerback may be the most important and interesting of them. 

Bland intercepted nine passes in 2023 but has dealt with foot injuries and inconsistency ever since. Durant has tools to make you drool, but the Rams got sick of watching him wander away from his assignments in coverage. If both are healthy and focused, they’ll join Shavon Revel, Jalen Thompson and rookie Caleb Downs to give the Cowboys a very good, thoroughly-rebuilt secondary.

Ryan Flournoy, KaVontae Turpin, Marquez Valdes-Scantling and Jonathan Mingo are all in the mix for the third-fourth receiver roles. Flournoy, a fantasy speculator’s favorite, puts up huge numbers now and then but also disappears from the gameplan for weeks at a time. Turpin is suitable for a screens-and-reverses role. MVS is halfway through a 32-team tour. Mingo is MVS, only younger and slower. Denzel Mims is also on the roster; Jalen Reagor must have had his phone on the charger when the Cowboys called. The WR3 is probably Flournoy’s job to lose, which means Flournoy is one Pickens tantrum away from a WR2 job.

Albert Breer reported in June that Nate Thomas is pushing Tyler Guyton, the least reliable member of the Great Wall of Tylers, at left tackle. Breer would not report that if a Cowboys coach did not tell him that, then tell him to report it. 

Joe Milton versus Sam Howell will be a fun backup quarterback competition to monitor in preseason games. Milton has popped in a few mop-up performances. Howell has talent but plays like the football has been duct-taped to his hand. 

Early Thoughts

The Cowboys could be a stealth powerhouse if they can field a league-average defense, so it’s worth monitoring all the new faces and youngsters on that side of the ball. Throw in some battles for backup roles on a high-flying offense and whatever Pickens drama is surely brewing, and there are lots of reasons to keep an eye on Cowboys camp.

This could well be one of those years where the Cowboys make fools of themselves in early January instead of mid-October. 

New York Giants

Their mayor is Muslim. 

Their bagels are Jewish. 

Their quarterback’s MAGA. 

The Giants are a saga.

Leadership Structure

Great leaders surround themselves with great lieutenants. John Harbaugh has chosen to surround himself with Joe Schoen and Matt Nagy. Let’s just say the jury is still out.

Quarterback

Jaxson Dart is a 23-year-old white dude from Utah with a malfunctioning self-preservation instinct and an inflated sense of his own accomplishments. And folks are somehow surprised about his politics.

Offense

Malik Nabers is great but might be super injured. Cam Skattebo is a bouncy battering ram, but he also has injury issues, plus a worldview that makes Dart look like Dag Hammarskjöld. Newcomer Isaiah Likely is the world’s leading expert in almost scoring touchdowns. Oh, and Odell Beckham is back. Why not bring back Victor Cruz, too?

Defense

New coordinator Dennard Wilson hopes Brian Burns, Abdul Carter, rookie Arvell Reese and human trade rumor Kayvon Thibodeaux can provide enough pass pressure to hide the fact that the rebuilt secondary is in danger of getting burnt by an unplugged toaster. 

Special Teams

The Giants cut veteran free agent Jason Sanders in June, so lefty Ben Sauls and rookie Dominic Zvada will compete for the placekicking job. That oughta be hilarious, though not this hilarious. 

Camp Battles to Watch

The Odell Beckham, JuJu Smith-Schuster and Braxton Berrios signings late in OTAs made Nabers look really injured and the Giants look really panicky. The Giants already had Darnell Mooney (too disappointing for even the Falcons), Jalin Hyatt (Schoen draft blunder), Darius Slayton (arrived in New York with the Dutch East India Company) and others to sift through at wide receiver. Why add dueling divas of the 2010s? Whatever Harbaugh/Schoen’s reasoning, the Giants receiving battles should be entertaining.

(And don’t try to claim that JuJu isn’t a diva. His dog was an influencer, for heaven’s sake.)

The Giants will be conducting training camp at the Greenbrier in West Virginia this year, not at their practice facility in East Rutherford. I covered a Saints camp at the Greenbrier many years ago: the mountain weather can be more accommodating than the swamps of Jersey (or Metairie), and distance from New York could turn the volume down on both distractions and media scrutiny. And no, reporters cannot partake of the hot springs or the golf, at least reporters in my tax bracket.

Early Thoughts

The Giants were sleeper favorites after the draft. Early-adopter ardor cooled when pessimistic Nabers injury reports began circulating. Folks may also have taken a second look at Dart’s 2025 season and realized that he didn’t really do much.

The Giants could still end up as this 2026’s unsurprising surprise playoff team, but they will need Nabers for that. If you don’t see Nabers in 11-on-11 drills by mid-August, get ready for six more months of dreary Giants football.

Philadelphia Eagles

A.J. Brown is gone. We are now all allowed to feel good about ourselves again.